When people talk about wellbeing, resilience is often one of the first words that comes up.
We're encouraged to be resilient in the face of challenges, setbacks, disappointments, and change. But there is another concept that receives far less attention and may be just as important: prosilience.
Understanding the difference between the two can help us navigate life's transitions with greater confidence and wellbeing.
What Is Resilience?
Resilience is often described as our ability to recover from difficulties and setbacks.
Imagine a tree bending in a strong wind. The branches may sway and flex, but the tree remains rooted and upright. In many ways, resilience is our ability to bend without breaking when life becomes difficult.
Resilience helps us navigate experiences such as:
- Relationship changes
- Bereavement and loss
- Career setbacks
- Health challenges
- Family difficulties
- Financial pressures
- Major life transitions
Resilience doesn't mean we don't struggle.
It doesn't mean we always feel strong.
It simply means that over time, we find a way to adapt, recover, and move forward.
What Is Prosilience?
If resilience is about recovering from challenges, prosilience is about preparing for them.
Prosilience is proactive rather than reactive.
It involves intentionally building the emotional, mental, physical, and social resources that help us cope when life becomes challenging.
Rather than waiting until we're overwhelmed, we develop habits, skills, and support systems that strengthen us before we need them.
In many ways, prosilience is like regularly maintaining your car rather than waiting for it to break down on the motorway.
Why This Matters in Midlife
For many women, midlife can be a period of significant transition.
Children may be leaving home.
Careers may be evolving.
Relationships can change.
Ageing parents may require support.
Menopause may bring unexpected physical and emotional challenges.
At the same time, many women find themselves asking deeper questions:
- What do I want from the next chapter of my life?
- What matters most to me now?
- What am I ready to leave behind?
- What am I becoming?
These transitions can place considerable demands on our emotional wellbeing.
Resilience helps us navigate them.
Prosilience helps us prepare for them.
The Benefits of Building Both
When we actively develop resilience and prosilience, we often experience:
- Greater emotional wellbeing
- Improved ability to manage stress
- Increased confidence during periods of uncertainty
- Better problem solving and decision making
- Stronger relationships and support networks
- Greater adaptability when circumstances change
- Improved overall life satisfaction
Perhaps most importantly, we develop a greater sense of trust in ourselves and our ability to cope with whatever life brings.
Practical Ways to Strengthen Resilience and Prosilience
1. Focus on What You Can Control
Life is full of uncertainty.
Rather than investing energy in things beyond your control, focus on the actions, choices, and attitudes that are within your influence.
Small actions taken consistently often create significant change over time.
2. Build and Nurture Your Support Network
We are not meant to navigate life's challenges alone.
Strong relationships provide encouragement, perspective, practical support, and a reminder that we are connected to something larger than ourselves.
Invest in the relationships that nourish and sustain you.
3. Prioritise Your Wellbeing
Many women spend years caring for others while placing their own needs at the bottom of the list.
Resilience is strengthened when we care for our physical and emotional wellbeing through:
- Regular movement
- Rest and sleep
- Good nutrition
- Meaningful connection
- Time for reflection and renewal
Self care is not selfish. It is preparation.
4. Adopt a Growth Mindset
Every challenge contains an opportunity to learn something about ourselves.
Rather than viewing setbacks as evidence of failure, ask:
"What is this experience teaching me?"
Growth often happens during periods of discomfort and uncertainty.
5. Prepare for Future Challenges
Consider what changes or challenges may lie ahead and ask yourself:
- What support might I need?
- What skills would be helpful?
- What habits would strengthen me?
- Who can I turn to for help?
Preparing doesn't mean expecting the worst. It means trusting yourself enough to be ready.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy provides a safe and supportive space to explore the experiences, beliefs, and patterns that may be affecting your ability to cope with life's challenges.
It can help you process past experiences, strengthen emotional resilience, develop healthier coping strategies, and build greater confidence in your ability to navigate change.
Whether you're recovering from a difficult period or preparing for a new chapter, therapy can help you develop the resources needed to thrive.
A Final Thought
Many people assume resilience means pushing through and carrying on.
In reality, resilience is often about something much gentler.
It's about learning to adapt.
It's about knowing when to seek support.
It's about trusting yourself.
And it's about recognising that every stage of life brings new opportunities for growth.
You are not starting over.
You are still becoming.
Written by Dekanla Jackson
Psychotherapist, Coach and Trainer
Supporting women through life's transitions with greater confidence, clarity and wellbeing.
Through therapy, coaching and growth programmes, I help women embrace their next chapter and create meaningful, lasting change.
You're not starting over. You're still becoming.